Best of Glen's Teenage Years

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Back from Northern Thailand

i am not settling down yet. i feel out of place. i miss Thailand very badly.

The flight back to Singapore was delayed last night, so our torturous transit at Bangkok International Airport was prolonged. i was disappointed with Thai Airways, especially because they didn't inform us about the delay until we asked about it. But nevermind, i still love Thailand.

i am beginning to feel sick of Singapore. Isn't that ironic? i spent 2 weeks in Thailand. If i should feel sick of a place, it would have been Thailand. But instead, it's Singapore. The moment we touched down and made our way through the customs, i could immediately feel the difference. It's so warm here compared to Thailand! i had never complained about the humid weather here, but now i dunno why i'm complaining. Haha. And when i went downstairs to buy dinner just now, it was raining and i accidentally stepped into a puddle of water, not once but twice! Again, i dunno why i'm complaining.


As i was packing my things away today, images of the trip kept flashing in my mind. i felt terrible. Perhaps it's because i interacted with the people there too much, that's why i'm feeling this way. And it's also because i'm going into the army next year which means i'm most likely unable to go back to Thailand again next year. i've been going there for the past 3 years plus this year. i can't imagine spending the last week of November and first week of December outside Thailand. Argh. At least, there is a glimpse of hope. Changxian told me i may be able to apply for a week's leave from National Service next year so that i can go back to Thailand. i shall cling on to that glimpse of hope and pray for a chance.



If i had only a day left to live, i would spend it in Thailand.

courtesy of Poon Marian

25 November - 9 December 2007

leaving for Thailand. will be back in 2 weeks' time.

people/things i will miss:
my father.
my classmates.
my churchmates.
my SFCmates
my soccermates.
my blog.
my Friendster.
my Facebook.
you.
etc.

25/11/2007
Depart Singapore: LTD 402 0810 hrs
09/12/2007
Arrive Singapore: LTD 401 2315 hrs

















it'll be marvellous if you can pray for me! thks.

1. Good spiritual & physical health = top form in serving God
2. Constant focus (on why i'm in Thailand for even if i experience spiritual dryness)
3. Leadership (courage to rise up & be used by God in getting things done)
4. Trust in God's miracles (to touch the hearts of the people there & save their souls)
5. Protection upon team members (against spiritual attacks like sicknesses & accidents)
6. Protection upon our loved ones & friends in Singapore (against adversities)
7. Tolerance & understanding (amongst team members)
8. God's providence (in everything)
9. 1st timers (Rachel, Elizabeth, Jonathan, etc.)
10. Adaptability (to the food & relatively harsh weather conditions)
11. Smooth flow (of activities, programmes & customs)
12. Ability to sense God's pleasure & joy (in everything)
13. Super-memory (in remembering the actions for dances, etc. & some Thai words)
14. Journey mercy (from one place to another in Thailand & back to Singapore)

The circuitous route

Do you know how difficult it is to do your best and hope that your best gets you either at least a C grade or at most an S grade when anything in-between gets you nowhere?


"I'm willing to take the circuitous route, but it's not enough, You must be willing too."

Countdown to my A Levels

Why not me?

I feel like I'm living the worst day over and over again
I feel like the summer is leaving again
I feel like I'm living the worst day
I feel like you're gone
Every day is the worst day ever


i skipped my History prelim exam.
my teacher called my mum and my mum told my dad.
and so my sin found me out.


Yesterday was the worst day ever
And tomorrow won't be better
It's history repeating on and on


i could see that my mum was controlling herself, refraining from ranting at me like she used to, and my dad hasn't spoken to me about it yet.
i just feel that my existence in this world has only added liabilities to the lives of people around me.
my exorbitant Maths tuition fees are scorching my mum's finances and i'm letting down others who have high expectations of me.
i feel so lousy having made my mum so worried.


The waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me,
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed.


recently i watched the news.
earthquakes, tremors, plane crash and Avian flu, claiming lives here and there.
i ask, "Just why not mine?"


The giants keep on telling me, time and time again,
"Boy, you'll never win. You'll never win."


"Lord Jesus, You've gotta save me from the waves that are gonna crash on me in 40 days' time. It's in Your nature, 'cause i know only You have an infinitely high Marginal Propensity to Save, so please reach out Your mighty hand and pull me out of this mess that i've created myself."


But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story.
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid."
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory."


nowadays, the only times i can feel my sense of self-worth are on Sundays when i attend church and go for practice for the missionary trip to Northern Thailand after my A levels. other than that, i'm struggling each day to embrace Godly attitudes towards my existence on this planet.


Out of all the voices calling out to me,
I will choose to listen and believe the Voice of Truth.

A plea to God

How i wish God had left that bottle alone, so that He could make me start studying right from the beginning, say Sec 3. but all i can do now is look ahead, fix my eyes on Jesus and stop dwelling on my ugly past.



"i'm really sick and tired of being a mediocre student and getting mediocre grades, so God would You please be more generous in giving me Your wisdom? just 0.00000001 percent of it is more than enough to make me a genius like Albert Einstein, John Maynard Keynes or Sir Isaac Newton, but i require only about 0.00000001 percent of the amount You gave these geniuses to help me grasp their main theories and concepts so that i can pass my A levels with flying colours."


the Photoelectric effect, Theory of Income Determination and Calculus are just some of the many areas that i'm unsure of at present, but as Abraham trusted in God, so will i.


"anyway i also owe You a word of thanks for providing me with the constant encouragements from my family and friends at this time, which i am so in need of."



life has indeed been different (and difficult) for me. i'm already heading in the right direction but my pace just isn't right. after days of studying long hours (8-10 hours a day mean alot of hours to me), i would feel good that i managed to sit down and study. but at the same time, i would know that it just wasn't enough. i doubt my Prelim results would show a marked improvement. the papers were really terrible, Maths in particular ('cause i've got expensive tuition for that and yet i couldn't do well). i could sense that other students are fighting to get As while here i am struggling to get above Ss and Us, not to even mention hitting a pass. what kind of a student is that? what kind of a Christian student is that?


okay i'm not supposed to use the com for long, even though i have remarkably been using it only once a week (on Sunday mornings before i go to church). so that's my life for you at the moment. i know it's gonna be over soon 'cause i can already see the end coming. The end is near.


oh ya there's Communion later ...

Hotchpotch of desperate notes

Attitude

the past few weeks have been horrendous ad nauseam. and i don't mean that i'm no longer feeling distraught over my A levels now, even though i believe God has just spoken to me through the following words by the author of Day by Day.

"The attitude I choose keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there's no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me. Let's choose each day and every day to keep an attitude of faith and joy and belief and compassion."
- Charles Swindoll

i may not be coping well with studies (i may not be a studious person), but my attitude from now onwards shall keep me going ...

Deliverance in Hell

Glen's life cycle

NDP 2007 Preview @ Potong Pasir

Triviality

i know this is gonna sound childish but i thought i should voice it out in response to a blog entry.


recently i flared up at a classmate for something considered trivial: crumpling my school uniform again, for fun.


i used to not mind wearing a crumpled top wherever i go, until i saw people wearing crumpled tops (intentionally or unconsciously), which looked awful to me. then i realise i had been taking my mum's ironing my school uniform for granted. (she's been ironing my sister and my school uniforms so that we may have more time to study, albeit a few minutes.)


i went to apologise to him one hour later for flaring up and literally begged him not to crumple my uniform again. i told him that he may do to me whatever he likes to 'disturb' me, except messing my hair and crumpling my uniform. i had thought he got the message, but he still tried to joke around the next day by pretending that he was gonna crumple various parts of my uniform, as if to tease me for kicking up a big fuss about it the other day.


"I really don't understand why it affects you so much.
It's not as if you're going home with a perfectly untouched shirt!
It bothers me a lot more that such a little thing bothers you.
Anyway, I was joking when I said I didn't get the point.
No need to get so angry."


perhaps i was indeed kicking up a huge fuss over something trivial. since my secondary school days, i've been conscious of my appearance. my mood is always affected whenever people touch my hair or crumple my shirt. it's as if a part of me has gone crooked and i can't function as normally as i do. i always check my hair and attire before leaving the house, so that kinda starts my day off knowing that i'm in top form. but once my hair gets messed up or my shirt gets crumpled by an external force, i'd feel uneasy.


well, that's me. that's one of my many imperfections. maybe my classmate or other people don't mind that. hmmm. perhaps one day i should do the same to him since his advice to me was "You shouldn't be so bothered about how people think about your outward appearance." but if i do the same to him, it will utterly contradict the tenet of "doing unto others what you want others to do unto you"!


probably he hasn't realised how awful a crumpled shirt looks, like how i was disgusted by those people who wear crumpled shirts, even if it is a small crease. yesterday, he 'offered to adjust' the sling on my bag, because it was "crumpling my uniform". yeah i know he meant it as a joke, but that seemed as if to tease me again. obviously he didn't get my message.


yes, even if he had never deliberately crumpled my uniform, it would still be crumpled and not remain perfectly without any crease at the end of the day, but you see, the creases made by other forces like my bag are due to slight pressing and they are not as obvious as those made by deliberate crumpling with a clenched fist!


on the part why i'm so concerned about how people think about my outward appearance. i have always been taught in school and at home about looking good. it's sort of a social etiquette. probably his secondary school didn't emphasise on neat uniform and proper hairstyle as much as mine did (even though his primary school might more likely have done), that's why he hasn't realised that even a slightly crumpled school uniform doesn't speak highly of a student.


yes, as Christians, we should not be concerned too much on our appearance, rather, we should work on our character, and that's what matters the most. however, that doesn't mean we ignore our outward appearance totally. i shall try pulling down his school tie one day, and see if he will adjust it back, since he should also not bother what other think. my point is, a crease-free shirt together with a properly-worn tie is all part of a neat school uniform.


hai, i didn't intend to make this such a long entry. but in order to bring my message across in its entirety, i had to do this at the expense of my study time. a 5-page SMS or a 2-page postcard just wouldn't do.


probably after all these, he still doesn't "understand why it affects me so much". i guess it's just different individual awareness levels that we each possess. anyway at least i did my part to try making him understand where i'm coming from. nevertheless, i still value him as a close buddy and i hope he thinks the same way too.

Pride of the team

you gotta watch this last SAJC goal scored in the A Division Football Championship 2006 at the Old Lady of Kallang from 40 metres by Jeremy Ong - True Master of the Dead Ball

Undeserved blessings

it has been a very blessed birthday. it's only my 19th birthday, yet i received so many blessings which i honestly don't deserve or expect.

firstly, i wanna thank those who stayed on at or made their way to Neale's place to celebrate my birthday last Sunday evening. sorry i've got no time to include your names here (cos i can't spend much time online, but i believe you know how much i appreciate each one of you.

secondly, i wanna thank my classmates for the gifts. i totally love the sweet chocolates and the funky T-shirt!

thirdly, i wanna thank my mum for buying me new jeans and shoes, my dad and sis for accepting me for who i am all these 19 years.

fouthly, i wanna thank those who celebrated my birthday at mission trip training at church.

fifthly, i wanna thank my other friends who made my birthday special in one way or another, by writing me cards, sending me smses, adding friendster comments/messages as well as wishing me in person and via the phone.

lastly and most importantly, i wanna thank God for His gift of salvation and forgiveness.


"Hope it will be a successful academic career for you from now on." - Gaffer

Post-BT2 resilience

i can't see abs on my tummy but i want to see ABS on my prelim results.


Getting fat because you've been too busy studying to exercise is not a shameful thing.

Post-BT2 despondence

H2 Physics 20%
H2 Mathematics 25%
H2 Economics 40%
H1 History 44%
H1 General Paper 49%

i did my best but it's obviously not enough. :(

Post-BT2 indulgence

thought your Block Test 2 papers were difficult?
obviously you haven't tried this one.

Now it's your turn to test me!

Videos

alright here's a small clip of the dance performed @ Plunge just now. i apologise that Part 2 is too big for Youtube. almost made it; it was 103MB (maximum size allowed: 100MB, argh).



and here's a clip which was our Hoodland V item back in 2004 taken by Jovin (thks!).

Plunge

God didn't have to create an emotional atmosphere for me to return to Him. He merely gave me a nudge to ask for prayer and i decided to be obedient after a long while.


i had expected Neale to pray for me cos he was standing together with the other counsellors, ever ready to pray for those who stepped out in faith. surprisingly, Joel Tan and Chongwei took a quicker step. it's okay i couldn't be prayed for by Neale, anyway he has always been praying for me so i thank God for that.


Chongwei led in prayer on my right, and Joel on my left. i could hear Chongwei clearly, but i knew Joel was praying for me as well, albeit in a less audible volume. i had asked for prayer for my A's and my getting back to God.


after the whole thing, i realised it was so déjà vu. i recalled that Chongwei had also prayed for me when i was 10 years younger back in 1997. i had just joined Church of the Ascension that year and we were at a Junior Sunday School camp. Dennis led worship that evening (how i miss him! glad he's back from Korea) and there was something like an altar call. i stood up to be prayed for and Chongwei was the one who prayed for me! i was emotionally and spiritually moved and i broke down with tears in heaven. that was the moment when i accepted Christ! praise God. 10 years have passed so quickly, i had been pretty close to God and i have been drifting away from Him. it's time i return.


now 10 years later, after i was baptised and confirmed last year, it was Chongwei who prayed for me again. it didn't happen intentionally or by chance. it was divine appointment. haha. oh ya i also just realised Chongwei was from SAJC too (so really, it wasn't by chance). i saw his Friendster profile some days ago. i'm one of his featured friends! cos he's got only 5 friends so far. cool thing.


the Lumpies, Neale and Solomon were sitting along the same row as i did just now. i hope they too felt God's presence at the event. i know there weren't swarms of people who attended but that's the feeling that i enjoy at CoA: cosy. God bless those who have worked so hard in putting this event together (including Chapel of Resurrection for allowing us to use the premises) as well as those who came!



hmmm "Pastor Glen(n)" sounds nice ...
is that supposed to be a calling huh?

A more balanced judgement

alright alright Justin perhaps i was wrong to imply that our Econs department is overrated. but i wasn't exactly blaming our notes; i was merely highlighting the possibility that our seniors did well because they studied other schools' notes. i was presuming, not assuming. note the difference okay? haha. anyway you'll also never know if those students from elsewhere who study our notes actually do well in their Econs. heh.


i just received a reply yesterday after i had posted my entry. it was a little contrary to the trend that i observed. this senior said, "For Econs you can depend on SAJC's notes, but you can also refer to other JCs' notes. Sloman is quite useful too. For History you don't really need to use other schools' notes, although sometimes the teachings differ quite a bit. SAJC's notes are quite trustworthy, looking at the A grade percentage in recent years."


wow Jerome you're right, John Sloman is a good old friend indeed.


here's my conclusion: SAJC's Econs notes may not be totally reliable but it isn't totally unreliable as well, so i shouldn't dismiss them as totally useless. (this is like so, totally!) i shall use a little of SAJC's notes plus other schools' notes as supplementary material. totally cool.

Advice for A's

recently i discovered a trend around me:

my friends @ SAJC are relying on notes that are not obtained from our own school; i see notes from other JCs, notes given by tuition teachers, etc. etc.



out of sheer curiosity, i did some sort of a survey via sms. this was what i smsed my seniors:

"When you were preparing for your A's, did you trust purely on our school's notes, or did you also read other schools' notes?"



these are their replies:

"Both. I used other notes and our school's notes together. Depends on which subject. i got Bs for all. For Econs especially, it was a big help to use VJC's notes."

"Our school's notes. It's sufficient because the supposed JCs usually have non-syllabus information. Best to study any notes with syllabus as checklist."

"Some other schools' notes."

"So as not to confuse yourself, you should use our school's notes. But some schools' notes should be better, while others might be worse. For me, I had enough trouble just studying our school's notes, so no time to see other schools' notes."

"Honestly right, when preparing for A's the most crucial thing is to do ALL questions from past year papers. Reading notes only won't help you much. But if you have weak topics that you need to read up first, use other schools' notes. SAJC's notes are very misleading and sometimes lack content."

"I relied mainly on our school's notes, with a little supplement from other schools. Like those that I think are really good. Our school's History notes should be ok, our track record is quite good. But for Econs, try to get a bit from outside."

"I used the lecture notes to digest the concepts. Then other books, then prelim papers, then past A level papers."

"Well, I did use a lot of ACJC's notes for Geography. And a lot of Wikipedia. But the most reliable are definitely reference books that teachers recommend and from libraries."

"For Biology I used the Longman guidebook. Other than that it was more of doing practice than studying notes."

"I did refer to other schools' notes for Econs. The rest I just used our school's notes."




hmmm. for 18 months i actually thought our Econs department is really reputable with solid substance, with most our seniors doing well over the years. now i realise it is probably because they studied notes from other schools' Econs departments.

thank God i've got a sister from VJC (although some may despise that), an awfully good friend from ACJC (although i don't take Geography) as well as easy access to Wikipedia (although it isn't totally reliable).

Glen Parker is Studyman

as my exams are nearing, i'm making my way to passing them, albeit at a slow pace, but i'm sure i'll be able to climb my way to the end with God's help. and each day shall begin with promising hope to accomplish humanly-impossible missions and end with sweet dreams of the one who causes my heart to skip a beat whenever she appears.

Out of town

The author of this blog leaves for Kuala Lumpur on the morning of 7 June and returns on the evening of 11 June.


ASCENSION FAMILY CAMP 2007
7 - 11 June 2007
Theme: "WE ARE A FAMILY TREE"

Déjà vu

"Follow Me"