Poem by Leyana

More Than Just a Friend

You are my friend
One I've known all my life
You were there in all my times of need
When I needed a shoulder to borrow
You were there when I got picked for the team
To celebrate and eat ice cream

But lately the line between friendship and romance is a blur
I've tried adjusting the lens
Trying to get it to focus
Needing to see the line
Needing to see where I stand

But I'm afraid I already know where I am
Way off in romance land
Cause every time you smile
The butterflies start acting up
When you put your arms around me
My heart starts to thump

I know you think of me as only a friend
I don't want to ruin our friendship
I don't want to cause that awkward moment
So I will try and hold back my feelings for you
Hoping they'll pass

My 2011 wishes

To be more than just another of your guy friends who talk to you now and then.

To more than just admire you from the periphery of your life.

To be part of it and you to be part of mine.

When I was a student, I didn't like Christmas for it meant holidays were ending and school was starting. Now that I'm becoming a teacher next year, it's all back to square one. How nostalgic!

If you are good, you will be assigned all the work.

If you are really good, you will get out of it.

"If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining."

慶祝馬迷和魅妹的生日

Lord, there are so many things that vie for my attention. Give me Your wisdom to do the things that matter for life on earth is short.

軌跡

我會發著呆 然後忘記妳 

接著緊緊閉上眼 

想著那一天 會有人代替 

讓我不再想念妳 

我會發著呆 然後微微笑 

接著緊緊閉上眼 

又想了一遍 妳溫柔的臉 

在我忘記之前

心裡的眼淚 模糊了視線 

妳已快看不見

軌跡 Tracks

軌跡 Tracks

曲: 周杰倫 
Music: Jay Chou 
詞：黃俊郎 
Lyrics: Huang Jun Lang


Verse 1 
怎麼隱藏 我的悲傷 
How to hide my sadness

失去妳的地方 
The place where I lost you

妳的髮香 散的匆忙 
The fragrance of your hair scatters hastily

我已經跟不上 
I'm unable to catch up


Verse 2 
閉上眼睛 還能看見 
With my eyes closed, I can still see

妳離去的痕跡 
The traces of your departure

在月光下一直找尋 
I keep searching under the moonlight

那想念的身影 
For that silhouette that I’m thinking of

*如果說分手 是苦痛的起點 
If breaking up can be said to be the starting point of pain

那在終點之前 我願意再愛一遍 
Then before the final destination point, I’m willing to love once again

想要對妳說的 不敢說的愛 
I want to tell you, the love that I dare not express

會不會有人 可以明白 
Will anyone be able to understand


Chorus
我會發著呆 然後忘記妳 
I will be staring off into space, then I will forget you

接著緊緊閉上眼 
And then tightly close my eyes

想著那一天 會有人代替 
Thinking about that day, when there will be someone who’ll take your place

讓我不再想念妳 
So that I will not think about you anymore

我會發著呆 然後微微笑 
I will be staring off into space, then I will break into a smile

接著緊緊閉上眼 
And then tightly close my eyes


又想了一遍 妳溫柔的臉 
Thinking once again, your tender face

在我忘記之前 
Before I forget

心裡的眼淚 模糊了視線 
The tears in my heart, have blurred my vision

妳已快看不見 
I'm starting to lose sight of you

"My NS Experience" essay (repost)

Recently (Oct 2009) i was tasked (or 'arrowed' in army jargon) to submit an entry for an essay-writing competition. It's entitled My NS Experience. i thought it'd be good to share it here.

"National Service (NS) does indeed change a young man's character, for better or for worse." This remark came from my mentor recently. How true! To set it in context, we were having a casual discussion on the various differing personalities of NS Full-time servicemen (NSFs) and how they would spend their two years (or less) in the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF). We figured out NSFs range between two extremes. On one end stands a young man, in his Full Battle Order (FBO), who fully understands the need for NS and fulfils his purpose as a ‘Son of Singapore’, usually transitioning into his NSman (or re-service) liabilities with the rank of Full Lieutenant (LTA) or Second Sergeant (2SG) on his Operational Ready Date (ORD). On the other end sits a young man, in front of a computer screen wearing his No. 3 uniform, who totally misses the rationale behind NS and pursues his goal of ‘serving the nation for two years and no more’, typically avoiding his NSman liabilities altogether with the rank of Private (PTE) or Lance Corporal (LCP) on his Run Out Date (ROD).

Personally, my perspective of NS before I enlisted was not the same as that well after I have enlisted. It has, in fact, constantly changed through the different phases of my army life – namely Basic Military Training (BMT) at Basic Military Training Centre (BMTC) on Pulau Tekong, Basic Section Leader Course (BSLC) and Advanced Section Leader Course (ASLC) at School of Infantry Specialists (SISPEC), and now as a BMT Commander back on Pulau Tekong. Prior to enlistment, although I was uncertain about NS, I gave an overestimation of my abilities to adapt and cope with a regimented lifestyle. Just a few days after I waved my parents farewell at the Tekong Ferry Terminal on 11 January 2008, I began to stumble in my efforts to adapt to the new life.

During my BMT, I had a difficult time adjusting to regimentation. I looked out for no one except myself, seeking to meet my own needs all the time. I was a terrible recruit in Jaguar Company, but I was given the chance to become a commander nevertheless. Shortly after graduating from my BMT, the Ministry of Defence (MINDEF) allowed me to return to school so that I could study and re-take my General Certificate of Education Advanced (GCE A) Level examination, thereby disrupting my NS for 9 months.

On 22 December 2008, I re-enlisted and was posted to SISPEC to continue my next phase of military training. So, I joined the 50th BSLC instead of the 47th BSLC if I had not disrupted my NS. Of course, it was an honour to be part of the pioneer batch of SISPEC trainees receiving the newly created Specialist Cadet (SCT) rank on 23 December 2008. I was posted to Golf Company where I started to acquire the mindset of a Specialist-in-training. Initially, although I had completed my BMT, it was as if I were starting to adapt to army life all over again because I had gone back to a non-regimental civilian lifestyle for more than half a year. Thank God I managed to pick up my physical fitness quite quickly and re-adjusted to a regimental military lifestyle with the help of my commanders and platoon mates.
I can still remember the words of the Officer Commanding (OC) during one of the Team Building Team Learning (TBTL) sessions. Master Warrant Officer (MWO) Teo See Keong said, “Leaders make sacrifices.” That simple statement shed some light onto the path of my learning journey of becoming a commander. Indeed, I learnt that sacrifices are necessary for a leader. When I was holding the appointments of Leader Platoon Sergeant (LPS) and Leader Sergeant Major (LSM), I had to sacrifice some sleep by waking up earlier so that I could hurry my fellow cadets to fall in for our daily morning five basic exercises (5BX) and hitting the haystack later due to receiving orders from above. Even then, before becoming a Specialist, I already felt immense pride reciting the Specialist’s Creed every morning.

On 17 February 2009, I continued my journey towards becoming a Section Commander as I joined the 50th ASLC in Charlie Company. It turned out to be the most memorable phase of my army life, perhaps because it was the longest period of time which I spent with a group of army buddies (BMT – 8 weeks, BSLC – 8 weeks, ASLC – 14 weeks!), and we even spent 3 weeks in a foreign country which is dubbed as the Land of a Thousand Smiles. 25 February 2009 was another day to remember for it was the day of our beret presentation. Till today, the label with my name and 4-digit reference number is still on the inside of my green headdress. It is merely a piece of masking tape with the words ‘Gland Liang’ and the number ‘C2202’ but it brings back so much nostalgia of the good old days of my trainee life. I closed my ASLC journal with a two-line summary: I had the hardest times of my life during ASLC, but I also had the hardest laughs of my life during ASLC.

After passing out from SISPEC with my new rank of Third Sergeant (3SG), I have been posted back to BMTC on Pulau Tekong but as a commander now, I had never found the island of Tekong so beautiful before during my recruit days. It has been a very pleasant working experience here at Orion Company and I am truly enjoying my NS now. My first batch of recruits haa just graduated as Privates nearly three weeks ago and they have reported to their new units this week. I must say I miss them because they were my first batch and I had put my heart and soul into training them. They were more than just recruits to me. in fact, they were like how Colonel (COL) Chan Wei Gan, Commander of BMTC, urged us to treat them – brothers. I may have had been a lacklustre recruit/trainee, but I aspire to be a good Specialist. I will keep aflame the fire of my passion and enthusiasm towards subsequent batches of recruits throughout the rest of my NS. When I have finished serving my NSF liabilities on 8 August 2010, may my mentor say that NS has indeed changed my character, for the better.

- 3SG Glen A. Liang, Orion Company, BMTC School 2, 24 September 2009