Thursday, February 5, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
The hardest thing so far
It's the end of the 4th week since i got posted to my new unit, and basically it's been about doing hard things™ all this time - constantly expanding my comfort zone, going beyond what's expected/required, doing things that i can't do alone, things that don't pay off immediately and things that go against the crowd (adapted from Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris).
i have to sleep less when i'm a person who treasures sleep very much.
i have to learn things fast when i'm a dunce.
i have to rely on others for help when sometimes i prefer to do things alone.
i have to keep my things in a tidy manner when i usually don't bother about orderliness.
i have to maintain my vulgarless nature in a vulgarful environment.
Etcetera, etcetera.
These things may not be hard for some people, but they are hard for me. God has indeed answered my prayer to be a Rebelutionary™ this year and has given me numerous opportunities to do hard things™. And in doing these hard things, i hope to honour God as i strive to portray Christlikeness.
Out of all the various hard things i've been doing these 4 weeks, the hardest thing isn't really sleeping less or picking up things fast. Yesterday, i discovered that the hardest thing to do so far is to uphold integrity in the midst of circumstances that tempt me to do otherwise. i failed to internalise the 6th Core Value of the SAF - Ethics. i was caught cheating at the start of a re-test. i didn't keep my notes and referred to them for answers, so my superior confiscated them. He allowed me to continue with the test but said he would inform the big boss.
This was my reason of cheating: i had already failed the test once, and because of that i had to go back on a Saturday morning to do the re-test. i wanted to make sure i wouldn't fail the test again, so i decided to compromise my integrity and take a risk. Even as i continued with my test, i was very affected. i became upset with myself, not for the inability to cheat tactically and avoid getting caught, but rather for shaming my God and ruining my testimony of Christlikeness. And i realised even without my notes, i could still answer most of the questions. How silly and unconfident was i!
i'm ashamed of my poor decision-making. Doing the test honestly without cheating was the hard thing for me to do because the failure to pass would mean a re-test on a Saturday morning and i wasn't willing to sacrifice my Saturday morning break like that. i'm sure there're gonna be similar encounters in the future, and this time i will choose to do the hard thing.
For now, i've got to learn my lesson the hard way and it's been made harder because i didn't make the right choice yesterday. i'm willing to face the music even if i don't like the tune being played (signing extras, etc.) but i hope they will give me a second chance (by not kicking me Out Of Course or sending me to the Detention Barracks).
"The world isn't as forgiving as the Lord."
i have to sleep less when i'm a person who treasures sleep very much.
i have to learn things fast when i'm a dunce.
i have to rely on others for help when sometimes i prefer to do things alone.
i have to keep my things in a tidy manner when i usually don't bother about orderliness.
i have to maintain my vulgarless nature in a vulgarful environment.
Etcetera, etcetera.
These things may not be hard for some people, but they are hard for me. God has indeed answered my prayer to be a Rebelutionary™ this year and has given me numerous opportunities to do hard things™. And in doing these hard things, i hope to honour God as i strive to portray Christlikeness.
Out of all the various hard things i've been doing these 4 weeks, the hardest thing isn't really sleeping less or picking up things fast. Yesterday, i discovered that the hardest thing to do so far is to uphold integrity in the midst of circumstances that tempt me to do otherwise. i failed to internalise the 6th Core Value of the SAF - Ethics. i was caught cheating at the start of a re-test. i didn't keep my notes and referred to them for answers, so my superior confiscated them. He allowed me to continue with the test but said he would inform the big boss.
This was my reason of cheating: i had already failed the test once, and because of that i had to go back on a Saturday morning to do the re-test. i wanted to make sure i wouldn't fail the test again, so i decided to compromise my integrity and take a risk. Even as i continued with my test, i was very affected. i became upset with myself, not for the inability to cheat tactically and avoid getting caught, but rather for shaming my God and ruining my testimony of Christlikeness. And i realised even without my notes, i could still answer most of the questions. How silly and unconfident was i!
i'm ashamed of my poor decision-making. Doing the test honestly without cheating was the hard thing for me to do because the failure to pass would mean a re-test on a Saturday morning and i wasn't willing to sacrifice my Saturday morning break like that. i'm sure there're gonna be similar encounters in the future, and this time i will choose to do the hard thing.
For now, i've got to learn my lesson the hard way and it's been made harder because i didn't make the right choice yesterday. i'm willing to face the music even if i don't like the tune being played (signing extras, etc.) but i hope they will give me a second chance (by not kicking me Out Of Course or sending me to the Detention Barracks).
"The world isn't as forgiving as the Lord."
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Nonetheless, here are my resolutions for 2009
My resolution for 2008 was to develop marks of maturity adapted from Charles Swindoll's book Day by Day:
Concern for others that outweighs personal concerns
Detection of the presence of evil before it's obvious
Self-discipline
Compassion and involvement
Tempered emotions
Consistently growing in God's Word
Since i didn't really manage to fulfill most of the above last year, i shall add them to my resolution for 2009 below which is to do hard things, taken from Alex & Brett Harris' book Do Hard Things:
Things that are outside my comfort zone
Things that go beyond what's required/expected
Things that are too big to accomplish alone
Things that don't earn an immediate payoff
Things that challenge the cultural norm
New Year's resolutions can be bad for you
LONDON - MAKING self-improvement New Year's resolutions often leaves people feeling worse, the British mental health charity Mind warned on Thursday.
Mind urged people not to make resolutions focusing on physical imperfections - such as attempting to lose weight - because they create a negative self image and lead to feelings of low self-esteem, hopelessness and even mild depression.
And when such optimistic resolutions fail, that could spark feelings of inadequacy and failure, the charity warned.
'New Year's resolutions can sometimes focus on our problems or insecurities such as being overweight, feeling unhappy in our jobs or feeling guilty about not devoting enough time to friends and family throughout the year,' said Mind chief executive Paul Farmer.
'We chastise ourselves for our perceived shortcomings and set unrealistic goals to change our behaviour, so it's not surprising that when we fail to keep resolutions, we end up feeling worse than when we started.
'In 2009, instead of making a New Year's resolution, think positively about the year to come and what you can achieve.'
Mind suggested resolution-makers focus instead on being active, connecting with nature, learning something new and working for one's community.
-- AFP
Mind urged people not to make resolutions focusing on physical imperfections - such as attempting to lose weight - because they create a negative self image and lead to feelings of low self-esteem, hopelessness and even mild depression.
And when such optimistic resolutions fail, that could spark feelings of inadequacy and failure, the charity warned.
'New Year's resolutions can sometimes focus on our problems or insecurities such as being overweight, feeling unhappy in our jobs or feeling guilty about not devoting enough time to friends and family throughout the year,' said Mind chief executive Paul Farmer.
'We chastise ourselves for our perceived shortcomings and set unrealistic goals to change our behaviour, so it's not surprising that when we fail to keep resolutions, we end up feeling worse than when we started.
'In 2009, instead of making a New Year's resolution, think positively about the year to come and what you can achieve.'
Mind suggested resolution-makers focus instead on being active, connecting with nature, learning something new and working for one's community.
-- AFP
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